I really do

I really do love Stereophonics.

"Step on my old size nines and I'll take you around."

How I wish I can let someone step on my shoes and let me show them around my mind and my heart, to let them know what I actually feel, so that I don't exactly have to put on a face, or face a confrontation, or dance around the room looking as though everything is alright, when nothing really is.

Yes, it does get tiring trying to figure out what everyone's feeling, to try to be all sensitive to people and hide what you actually feel like saying, or feel like doing. Restraint is good, but then again, it gets so taxing that sometimes it's tempting to just give up, to, maybe, stop trying to read others' signals and stop trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with my relationship(s) with anyone. I really do get tired.

But hell, why such morbidity when...

YAY! MY PRACTICAL A-LEVELS ARE PRACTICALLY OVER.

The joy. The thankfulness. God! I really do feel thankful to God, He's been there when no one's been, He's gotten deep into my heart where no one's been. He's always there giving me strength when I need it. Like He said, though this is not the exact quote, "No trial that God gives you will be too hard for you to take." Maybe, to me, it's because along with every trial, God provides an equal-- if not exceeding -- amount of strength needed to overcome it. And I am glad that He has given me enough faith to trust in Him, to say that I'm leaving everything in His hands, and that He has really given me the strength that I asked for, pushing my limits and stretching my threshold, carving me out to become a better person. I've finally broke my pride down and asked Him for help, and indeed, He has given it to me, and, I guess, pulled my hand and pulled me out of a shithole which I would never be able to get out of myself.

.o.O.o.O.o0.O.

I really do. I really do thank you wholeheartedly, Serene, for being my partner. No, I'm not going to dishonor you. HAHA. Well, I really feel that our duopartnering was a marriage of convenience to start with, which in the end blossomed to such a beautiful friendship. Still remember me giving my DS and for you, making the painful decision of acting over masking, and wow, in the rush to find partners, we simply said, Alright, we're partners! Remember the efficiency we had? Or maybe YOU had. Right after the union POOF! You and Pau were at the library looking for Duos. Like. WOAH. And every minute I spent with you, I felt, hmm... this is the right choice. Though I did consider Karms, but hell, the second we became partners I guess my gut told me IT WAS YOU. HAHA. Now let's check your guts.

It's the same way how you feel we're more than just duoparDners. I really do feel that it's become a wondrous friendship, of support and understanding. I guess we've got to know each other so much more, and realised how we can never really do serious mirrorwork, and realised, really, how to live with each other. Not live, as in, cohabit, but, live, as in, you know, what we expect of friends? Well, I really thank God for you, acting with you is really fun. No joke. Or maybe. Lotsa jokes. HAHA. It's amazing how our laughing kinda infects each other. If you think about it, things we laugh about are always really lame stuff. But, we just keep laughing. I love that feeling. That certain MAGIC, i think. I truly enjoyed dinner last night. I love it when you go mad. Remember. Allow me to quote Pym. When we're "STARK, STARING MAD".

As I've said, our friendship and time spent together is very much a duologue extracted from a comedy of errors. It still amazes me how we stuck together from prelims till the end of As, and how we so clicked so well, how we sometimes pissed each other off, how we so readily give hugs to each other, how I can feel your presence coming or predict an SMS from you, how we need not really say much to each other but really know that each other is, sometimes, hurting deep inside and just really needs a hug. Nothing too obliging, nothing too forced. It was natural, I guess. even our names. Marene Sercus. What else can be as natural as that?

Prajadipok, I'd really always remember the time we spent together. It's not the end, no way,we're gonna spend more time together! YAY!

>>>You know what's funny?

>>I'm German. Nothing is funny. Ha. Ha. Ha.

>>>I'm really getting a troothache.

Love! Love! Love!

And now, for the closing song, a number written by Serene (51%) and Marcus (49%).

When you're lonely
Hug a pillar
Because the pillar is lonely too.
The next pillar is faraway
They can't talk, and they can't play.

So if you're lonely...

(repeat)

Hmm. Maybe this is even better than Stereophonics! :D

o.O.0O.oO.o.Oo

It's been great, hasn't it. Hmm. I'll say, this is the most memorable part of my JC life. But, I'd never ever want to repeat it again, ever. I love you, Priya. For being such a close friend who I can spill my beans to. You're no short of a good friend! Love.

Thanks too, WE ARE. It's tumultuous. But we got through, and we're great. are we? WE ARE.

"Nothing to say Lord, you know it as well as I."

Always loved that line, but I guess I'd use it in a different context for now :)

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